015: change happened
happy new year!
i feel closer to God when i run.
here we are. two months after our previous dance. i have missed writing for your eyes as much as i have missed the thrill of writing the world that spins before mine.
today’s sun shines with a different, yet familiar glow. i woke up remembering how writing here makes me feel, how clipping pieces of my world on these pages gives me maddening clarity and audacity to continue doing the same.
in my time away, i sat with my thoughts a lot more than usual. i questioned numerous actions of mine, hoping to discover the true intent behind them. for one, why do i choose to write every friday? is it possible that some secret ambition (that God has not given) could be lurking somewhere in my heart?
well, yes.
but i remembered to take a cue from a very wise woman in my space. she weaves vulnerability into everything she writes in a bid to expose darknesses that would prefer to stay hidden. and, so i hope to do same. to be as honest as i can be, as open as i am allowed, and to write as much as i really see.
as 2025 began saying her final goodbyes, i wrote more often on Medium. i had planned to end the year by writing everyday in the month of December. i tried, but i couldn’t keep up because i started feeling drained. at the time, it felt like i had been sapped of all the creative juices in me. i decided to give it a rest, and much more, to take a break for the entirety of January.
the plan was simple. rest from writing, read like a mad fellow. did i rest? yes. did i read? no.
and now that February’s light beams, i wonder what magic i can perform. i wonder if resting alone did justice to december’s diagnosis. but i have hope anyway.
i made a new friend while i was away from substack’s universe. in all her wisdom, she gave me a quote that made me ponder more than i did on my quantitative reasoning assignments in primary school.
i had just made a rant about how i was hoping to make the most of my time away from substack. i told her of the books i had planned to read and the courses on my dashboard begging for completion since mid-2025.
in her response, she went on to tell me how the concept of time fascinated her and how whenever she starts to feel like she is falling behind in life, she reminds herself that there is always tomorrow. for as long as tomorrow exists, whatever she wants can eventually happen.
she went on to say, “change happened, simply because time passed”. in the light of quiet realisation, i saw how change is really tied to time in an unbreakable bond. and, if change is constant, it is also because time is consistently on the move — to bring us the next tomorrow.
the most important lesson i learnt then, is that change is possible as long as time spins. and if we are blessed with the gift of time — of today, and tomorrow, then our change is only but a seed with a destiny to grow.
hopefully, i get to read like a mad fellow this february and experience the world under the lights of the divine.
thank you for being here—for reading. let’s do this. let’s write the world.
till next friday, my friend.
with all the love and strength to write the world,
benny.
Riveting!